A bit of quiet

Through out my life I have always yearned. Since moving here I wanted to to home, missed my friends, the East Coast, pizza, bagels, good Italian restaurants. I even missed assholes (They have them here...they just come in the form of Christian right fundamentalists and yeehaws...New York has a different type of asshole, perhaps I should call them...douche-bags, sorry dad). New York and Jersey accents are coveted by me, like a breathe of fresh air actually (I think that may be apart of the reason why I love my acupuncturist...he is from Jersey). Erik and I continually had the conversation about moving home. When Maya and Amara were born I spoke of when I'd go back to work. I figured after they were a year I'd start looking for a job. After they turned 9 months I began thinking about how we should move in to a bigger house. I am always wanting more, bigger, better. Sometimes all that wanting makes me loose sight of all the amazing things that are happening now, here, in this very moment. I think finally I am starting to "get it". Perhaps (scoff, pshah, yeah right) I am growing up. It is about friggin time.

Instead of trying to figure out what's next I am enjoying what's now (at least for today). I like being home with Maya and Amara. It has been beautiful outside. I try to take the girls outside to enjoy the blooming flowers and sun. I cannot forget to turn my music up and to sing, loudly, even if the windows are open. When I cook dinner it is not always about what needs to be chopped or diced, but about the joy of doing, and the delicousness that comes out of it. A free minute relished. The small, cherished, at least for the moment. A sort of quiet peace has entered my life. Do not get me wrong, I still yearn, but if we stay in our house that is OK. I will work at some point, but for now I am not, and I am enjoying it. My life has been full of adventure, and I am sure it will continue to be. Sometimes it is nice to just be in it instead of contemplating the darn thing all the time.