Saturday, August 22, 2009

Work starts...NOW

This week I start my work schedule for the year. I have lots of mixed feelings about the whole thing. On one side I am so excited to truly begin. Working with people invigorates me. Helping them figure out their problems and heal themselves...there is nothing else like it. Plus, my boss is supportive, nurturing, and quite wonderful. I will learn so much from her. I am also scared shitless. Though I put on a good show, and probably seem as if I have it all together. Two years of school, and I feel completely unprepared. There is so much I do not know, and so much that I have forgotten. Plus, I am training to be a therapist. This whole gig is completely new to me. No matter how natural it feels. I got A LOT to learn. It is overwelming. I feel all this passion and excitement for this new change in my life, but my family is my first priority. My family is IT for me. Maya and Amara are still very young; a year and a half is NOTHING. They should be with their mother for most of the time (or father or loved one). The first three years of their life are the most important. It forms how they will be in relationships, their feeling of independence, sense of empathy, and so much more. Working takes me away from them. Three years is a blip in the scheme of things, though everything to them. There is a fine balance between work and family, and I am not quite sure a woman can really have it all. Part of me feels like somewhere something gets sacrificed, whether it be a career suffers, or the children loose their parent only to see them on the weekends or right before bed. I hope I can strike a balance. Perhaps working two to three afternoons to start, than more as they (and mostly I) are able to handle it. As they grow up it is so important that they feel as if I was there for them.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Friends

One of the things I miss the most about the East Coast is friends. I have made some in Houston. In fact, I have met some great people. Friendship takes time though. Time, with kids, is limited. The friends made when I was younger, from college days and soon after, know me differently. Those were the days when there was time. Time and lots and lots of alcohol, plus a dose of a late night or two, three...Now I am lucky if I make it till 11. The precious moments I have on the weekends are spent either going out by myself or relishing in family together time. We try to get together with some of the friends we have made, but coordination, healthy children and nap schedules makes it hard.
A few girl friends and I created a monthly dinner. We all look forward to it so much. For a night I get dressed up, blow dry my hair, and put on some make-up. I slowly get dressed. Throw on heels. We drink wine, taste one another's food, and talk. I love it. I just wish there was more...
Friendship now is different. It must be cultitivated. It's not as easy. I wonder if it would be this way if we lived on the East Coast as well?