Homemade Rugelech

The next Baking with Julia recipe is for rugelech. The cookies are perfect for the Jewish holidays, well all aside from Passover. During Rosh Hashanah I bet they'd be great filled with apple butter too. Making the levkar may seem like a hassle, but it is super easy and well worth it, but if you do not feel like making the levkar any kind of fruit butter or jam will suffice. Making your own is a pain in the ass, but well worth it. In our house it will be what we make for the Jewish holidays, or to add some confusion, I may bake them for my annual Holiday Christmas Cookie Swap, so I can "school" all my goyim friends. Rugelech somehow reminds me of home. We never made it, but in Long Island, NY there is rugelech in most bagel stores and Jewish delis.

The rugelech take several stages to make over a three day time span, but doing it this way made it much less overwelming. In fact, they are cooking right now and the end product smells amazing. The dough is a lightly beaten, barely stuck together mash of cream cheese and butter, left in the fridge over night. Meanwhile, apricot and prune levkar is made. Levkar is a Hungarian fruit butter made from either dried apricots or prunes, sugar and some kind of nut. The levkar was super easy to make, all it took was some dried fruits simmered and thrown in to the food processor. The cool part of making the levkar is the left overs. I chose to make both apricot and prune levkar to have two different tastes. Dorie says it is good smeared on bread. The gals usually do not like jellies or jams, but I am going to try it out on them for a snack.

The rugelech had a lot of steps. After letting the dough rest in the fridge and making the levkar I was able to actually make the rolls. Rugelech is made like a jelly roll. First cinnamon, sugar, chopped nuts, dried fruit and the levkar are layered onto the dough. The girls had so much fun adding the layers to the dough and pressing all the yummy ingredients in, though I must say the counter and floor where quite messy when we were done. The cookies are rolled up lengthwise, kinda like a burrito, taking care to make sure you add pieces of the filling in as you go. Then you put the roll in the fridge for a night. The next day before going in the oven they are dipped in a nutty cinnamon sugar mixture. When the cookies bake they smell incredible (did I mention that???). The house smelled like the best cinnamon sugar candle mixed with baking pastry or bread...but better because it was the real thing!

On a side note, currently my face is a blotchy, red mess from eating these delicious cookies, but even so, I cannot stop eating them. Through this baking experience I am realizing that sugar really does not agree with me, no matter how much I want it to. I am wondering if I can make some of the recipes with coconut sugar? Or I need to just eat a little bit of whatever it is that I make, then bake some kind of concoction with coconut sugar or agave nectar to ween myself onto something sweet, but a hell of a lot better for me. The plan with the rugelech was to eat a few of the cookies, then stop, but they are addictive. The mixture of the light cream cheese dough with the not so sweet jammy levkar filling and crunchy, carmelized cinnamon sugar crust just keeps begging to be eaten again and again.

Chocolate Truffle Tartlets

This weekend I made the chocolate truffle tartlet from Baking with Julia Child by Dorie Greenspan. The first part of the recipe was making the chocolate pie crust. Pie crusts and I have a mixed relationship. I am constantly trying to "get it right", but have not figured out how...until now. I only had frozen butter, which was a good thing because it was really, really cold and cold butter is key to making a great pie crust. Initially I tried to make the crust in the food processor, but it was not jiving (the butter was actually too cold!), so I used my hands. I think using my hands helps, so I can FEEL the texture. Pie crust flour mixture should be really crumbly, the crumb the size of peas. I rolled it up, but it in the fridge over night to let the flavors meld and hoped for the best.



I get kinda nervous when I have to roll dough out for crust. I bought some tartlet pans for the occasion and a dough scraper at Amazing Cake Supplies, an everything you need for baking supply store in Bellaire, Houston area. I was not sure how 6 tartlet pans were going to make it to the oven in tact--1 tart or pie is usually hard enough to keep in one piece, at least from a dough rolling perspective...until now. The dough scraper and cold dough are the keys to a good pie crust. I must tell my mom this. She asked me the last time we were talking "dough" how not to make the dough stick to the surface when rolling it out and the answer is a dough scraper. When rolling out the dough use the scraper to get underneath the mixture that way the crust does not stick and get stuck. I was able to use the scraper to push the crust up, getting perfect tartlets crusts---just make sure you flour the surface now and then and if the dough starts to stick, just put it the fridge to get cold again if need be.

This recipe also made me realize I need a kitchen scale. I had to chop up amaretti cookie snaps, milk chocolate and white chocolate for the recipe. Since I did not have a scale I guesstimated 2 oz of each chocolate, and I wonder if I used too much. Either way, this tartlet is cool looking. I whipped up egg yolk until frothy and thick and folded it in with bittersweet chocolate for the filling, then mixed in my chocolates and cookies. The coolest part of this super chocolate tart is that the bits of chocolate do not melt, so when you cut a piece there are little flecks of milk and white chocolate throughout the tart adding texture. The amaretti cookies are also cool. Some of the cookies melted into the tart, but I added some hunks, so it gives some pieces a crunchy almond flavor-yum.



The tart reminds me of an ewy-gooey brownie when it is at room temperature. It requires vanilla ice-cream and a nice glass of milk (or almond or coconut milk if you prefer!). I personally found the tart a bit too rich (if that is possible) at room temperature. When the tart is cold from being in the fridge is when its truffley nature comes about. I like the tartlet better cold. When it is cold it tastes like a pie encrusted truffle...yum.


So...there is a bit of bittersweet irony in this love of mine of sweets and baking. Sugar and gluten both kinda sorta make me itch, no joke. Sugar also gives me a sexy looking red spot on the tip of my nose...it kinda sucks. I take salt baths to alleviate the itchiness. When I bake with sugar I know the red spot soon follows. I have to taste what I make right? The thing is though, I really enjoy baking and the fruits of its labor. My husband thinks I am wacky or perhaps a masochist but it hurts so good...

Next month I am making rugelech,which I am super-excited about. In the meanwhile I am going to lay off the sugar and gluten. Perhaps I will make myself some homemade gluten free bread and muffins, drink me some smoothies, and take a few baths.

PS: This afternoon I made veganish almost gluten free banana muffins (I added grain sweetened chocolate chips...I figure grain is better than sugar and this girl needs some kinda chocolate fix when she is sugar detox mode...). Instead of butter I use coconut oil and there are no eggs. Still yum just in a healthy way!

Baking Bread

The first assignment for Tuesdays with Dorie were the white loaves in Baking with Julia by Dorie Greenspan. I never made bread before. To be honest, I was a little scared at how the loaves would turn out. Bread always seemed like a lot of work (at least that is what my mom told me), but I have this fantasy of becoming this amazing bread-maker, perhaps it is all that sexualized socialization taking it's toll. Making bread seems so simple. All that is needed is a few ingredients. Plus, the house smells so nice as bread bakes and the idea of making bread just seems to emit feelings of warmth and comfort; perfect for a January winter day (though I am ignoring the 60 something degree weather we have here in Houston as I write this...).

The girls were so excited. Maya, my daughter, LOVES bread, particularly toast with butter. When they heard the timer go off on the oven both Maya and Amara came running to see what delights where about to emerge. They were so excited and wanted to eat the bread as soon as it came out.

After eating all their veggie and protein the gals were permitted their fresh-from-the-oven bread. Maya said, "Wow, this bread is yummy," and I got about 3-4 "really" yummies from Amara. They ate two pieces each. Erik, my husband, gave the bread a 7.8 out of 10. He is a hard critic.

Erik gave it a 7.8 because it had a beautiful, crunchy crust, but it was a little dense. I am not sure if the density was caused by using the dough hook on the Kitchen Aid instead of kneading by hand, or if I did not knead/mix it for quite enough time, or perhaps the dough may have even over-worked it. It does not matter though because density aside it was damn good with and with-out butter. Plus, we have bread for the week, and another loaf in the freezer for the week after. How cool is that?

Baking with Julia, my new creative outlet...maybe.

My life has become incredibly busy with two almost 4 year old children to play with and working part-time writing and much of what I used to do to be creative has gone by the way side. Most of the time when I read a book it is for learning purposes...unless it is a cook-book or my new obsession, The Game of Thrones series. Recently I bought a cook-book for my sister-in-law, Melissa by Dorie Greenspan. I borrowed it from the library over the holidays to make sure it was a good present before buying the gift for her it was, Baking, From My Home to Yours. I loved it, and as I do with most cook-books these days, read it like a novel, salivating over the beautiful pictures. For my cookie-swap this year I made the rugelech, which came out delicious (if I do say so myself), and I made yummy chocolate ginger-bread for Christmas. While researching Dorie's other books I came across Tuesdays with Dorie, a blog network of bakers who actually spent 4 years blogging and baking through Baking. It sounded so cool.

In February the blog network will start all over again baking their way through another cookbook Dorie wrote with one of my all time favorite authors and cooks, Julia Child. So...I am going to sign up. I am not sure I can bake from the book every week, but I believe it is 2 recipes a month starting in February. If it ever becomes stressful or hectic I can stop, but it sounds like fun. It sounds like it could be a possible creative outlet, one in which I will learn a thing or two...I need some fun in my life that is my own. Sometimes life gets busy and I forget what fun was like, what with the running around and crazy schedules. So, I am signing up...God help me, to bake with this community of people who will bake their way through Baking with Julia by Dorie Greenspan. I will be making all different types of breads, french pastries...perhaps even a wedding cake (maybe I can have a block party for that one!). I am excited, but also want to be aware of taking on too much or having added pressure and stress in order to "do" the recipes for the month. I want to, "be" and breathe my way into baking enlightenment, so I am back. Hello...Again.

Hello again

Life is running smoothly, once again. Now, I am a psychotherapist in training. It usually takes me about a month to get used to a new job (or at least the school year...even though now I am not teaching). The girls are adjusted (more like I am adjusted). Actually, I love what I am doing. It is exciting, rewarding work, though emotionally draining sometimes. When a child hugs me because I helped her in some way...there is nothing like it. Also, Lyle, my boss, is great. Working for someone where I can truly be myself and say how I feel. It is refreshing. We have a great relationship. Since I am working for a psychologist and also being supervised there is a lot of talk about feelings, intentions, and motivation behind action...I LOVE IT, though it is hard at times to look at myself so critically. Growth is something I thrive on, even if sometimes the growth hurts a bit. Looking at oneself is definitely not always so easy. In order to give therapy I am required to analyze my actions. It is important to see what is behind what I say, how I feel in session, and what motivates where I go with clients. Sometimes, they may do something that brings up crap within me. I have to know myself enough to see beyond all the bol shit going through my own mind, so I can truly help the client go through...well their own shit really. In fact many a time I sat down to write on my blog, but what I had to say was so personal, so near to my heart, and perhaps also hurtful to others. I just could not write it. It felt like too much.
There was lots of amazing food to write about like the mint chocolate chip cookie sandwiches I made Erik for his birthday, my kickass apple cream-cheese cake that I made for Rosh Hashanah, or the pomodoro I made tonight, slow roasted tomatos roasted in the oven for three years (heaven surely has garlicky, bright red tomatos flecked with fresh basil), but in light of all the deep thinking, it felt like writing about food would just be an easy way out, and unfortunately I am not one to take that route. I rather sweat it out, or avoid whatever is looming over me all together. Anyhow, I am back.

Work starts...NOW

This week I start my work schedule for the year. I have lots of mixed feelings about the whole thing. On one side I am so excited to truly begin. Working with people invigorates me. Helping them figure out their problems and heal themselves...there is nothing else like it. Plus, my boss is supportive, nurturing, and quite wonderful. I will learn so much from her. I am also scared shitless. Though I put on a good show, and probably seem as if I have it all together. Two years of school, and I feel completely unprepared. There is so much I do not know, and so much that I have forgotten. Plus, I am training to be a therapist. This whole gig is completely new to me. No matter how natural it feels. I got A LOT to learn. It is overwelming. I feel all this passion and excitement for this new change in my life, but my family is my first priority. My family is IT for me. Maya and Amara are still very young; a year and a half is NOTHING. They should be with their mother for most of the time (or father or loved one). The first three years of their life are the most important. It forms how they will be in relationships, their feeling of independence, sense of empathy, and so much more. Working takes me away from them. Three years is a blip in the scheme of things, though everything to them. There is a fine balance between work and family, and I am not quite sure a woman can really have it all. Part of me feels like somewhere something gets sacrificed, whether it be a career suffers, or the children loose their parent only to see them on the weekends or right before bed. I hope I can strike a balance. Perhaps working two to three afternoons to start, than more as they (and mostly I) are able to handle it. As they grow up it is so important that they feel as if I was there for them.

Friends

One of the things I miss the most about the East Coast is friends. I have made some in Houston. In fact, I have met some great people. Friendship takes time though. Time, with kids, is limited. The friends made when I was younger, from college days and soon after, know me differently. Those were the days when there was time. Time and lots and lots of alcohol, plus a dose of a late night or two, three...Now I am lucky if I make it till 11. The precious moments I have on the weekends are spent either going out by myself or relishing in family together time. We try to get together with some of the friends we have made, but coordination, healthy children and nap schedules makes it hard.
A few girl friends and I created a monthly dinner. We all look forward to it so much. For a night I get dressed up, blow dry my hair, and put on some make-up. I slowly get dressed. Throw on heels. We drink wine, taste one another's food, and talk. I love it. I just wish there was more...
Friendship now is different. It must be cultitivated. It's not as easy. I wonder if it would be this way if we lived on the East Coast as well?