I am trying to figure out what the intention of my blog is. What do I want to get out of it? Where are my posts going. Lately I have been really hesitant to write. I even skipped a week. It felt more...public. I wrote the post about my whole "smelling" experience and someone got offended. It made me feel...like I had to be careful. Edited. It is really hard for me to feel edited. It is just not in my nature, but I also do not want to hurt people. Plus, at the time it was the only, "comment" to speak of...that just seemed like bad mojo. I even made one of my best friends and husband write a comment to make the one really bad one seem better. Sad huh? I had no idea the woman I wrote about even found me. I am not even sure how.
My writing is just beginning, again, and I am really new at the whole blog thing. I know I have to be mindful of my subject matter and who reads what I write. I know one day when I may be looking for a job my coworker or potential boss may see this, but I have never been the kind of person who "thinks" about what I write or say for that matter...this has gotten me in to trouble numerous times. Erik thinks I should shut this blog down or just write about food on this blog and start another "shadow" blog anonymously, so I may write FUCK as much as I want.
I want this blog to be my truth, whatever that may be in the moment. Sometimes I will write about food or a great restaurant (or not so great) or an awesome meal I made or ate, but sometimes I will write about my fears, issues, memories, or whatever is in my heart at that moment. So, the subject of the blog, for the moment, will be "my truth". It is my special place where I get to explore the different aspects of who I am. It is public for all to see. Sometimes I tell people I have a blog and blush...I am not sure if what I have to say has any relevance to others, but I am also not sure that really matters. I have to be OK with that.
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Write what you want to write. Or don't write, if you're more comfortable with that. A friend of mine referred to his blog/journal/whatever as something like a newspaper column, which helped him edit himself before he hit the 'post' button.
Whatever helps you express yourself works. I'm grateful to have access to whatever window you open to your life.
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