My last entry got me to thinking about other women that I know and their birth experience. Many of my friends have gotten c-sections. Actually, most of them have gotten c-sections for one reason or another. Almost all of them had epidurals. I have two friends that had their baby naturally. One of my friends, Rosie, did not mean to her kid naturally. Jackson almost fell out of her after 15 minutes...it was her second kid.

I love to hear women's birth experiences. When I am at play groups I always ask the new mommies what their labor was like. It seems as if so many women feel sad or guilty about their birth experience when things did not go the way they wanted them to. Labor is a rite of passage for women, and like most important life experiences incredibly important and memorable. It sucks if there is sadness surrounding something so incredibly special. Most women's labor does not go according to plan, just like everything else in life.

Everyone's birth experience is beautiful, no matter what. At the end of it all as long as you have a healthy child, who really cares? Each birth experience is unique, wonderful.

I was shopping at Whole Foods last week and a man commented on how amazing Maya and Amara were. He asked me if I had them in a hospital. I said, "Yes, but naturally". He replied, "good for you". After our exchange a woman came up to me with an "Obama Mom" sweat shirt on and told me not to feel guilty for my birth experience. Who was feeling guilty? After thinking about it, I guess on some level I was. He did not need to know I had them naturally, who really gives a shit?

A lot of women feel guilty or ashamed about how they gave birth to their babies. One of the women in my mom's group was telling her birth story. She seemed so sad and disappointed because she had to get a c section. She had a doula, was a hospital nurse, and read and did everything she was supposed to do in order to have natural childbirth. It seemed as if she felt like she failed on some level because she did not have the birth experience that she wanted. My friend Sarah also wanted natural child birth, but was unable to have it because the umblical cord was wrapped around her son's neck. Her baby is almost 4 months old, and she is still upset about it. I have heard so many stories similar to my mommy friend and Sarah.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Birth is a big deal. We want experience to be amazing and everything we dreamed of. We want our kids to come in to this world on our terms, but things do not always work out that way. Some babies end up in the NICU, does that mean that the mom did something wrong. Should she have not taken out the kitty litter? Was it the sushi she ate, the chocolate, the coffee? Or perhaps it was all if that excercise or the lack of. We drive ourselves crazy with guilt.

People do not help either. Society puts all this pressure on us to have the perfect child, which translates in to having the perfect labor. All labors are perfect. I wish my mommy friend was not so sad about her birth experience. She has a beautiful little girl. In the end that is really what matters. The birth part, that is just one day (or two, if you are in absolute hell maybe three). Isn't it funny that it was a man who asked me if I had the girls in a hospital? Yeah, buddy I had them in the hospital? I also shit on the table about three times. What's it to you?